Consent in modern dating:
Right from letters to text messages and from landlines to mobile conversations, the dynamics of dating have evolved drastically. Technology and Western culture have their own part to play in this evolution. Although the mediums or platforms have switched and we've got all modern, what still remains intact is those butterflies that one feels during the dating phase.
As we've progressed into modern times, we were introduced to the 'new black' of dating life: CONSENT. With the passing of time, suddenly, 'Consent became the new cool', and today, it seems to be the most debatable topic among teens. But do we as teens really understand what it means? Or are we just trying to ‘fit in’ by making consent sound cool?
This article delves into the intricacies of this newfound emphasis on consent, exploring whether it's a genuine factor of a healthy sexual relationship or merely an attempt to conform to the latest social trend!
What Is Sexual Consent?
Let us get to the roots first. Sexual consent is the glowing green light of intimacy, a heartfelt agreement that turns a shared moment into a beautiful journey of connection. It's the unwavering assurance that every touch and every step is welcomed with enthusiasm and respect. Skipping the flowery lingo, let's explain it in layman's terminology, too. It's a mutual, clear-cut agreement between adults to engage in any sexual activity, not just ‘sex’ but also physical and emotional intimacy. It means both parties are on the same page, willingly and enthusiastically participating, with a full understanding.
Why is consent important in healthy relationships?
Healthy relationship and consent; the former one exists only in the presence of the latter!
Consider consent to be the guiding source to a healthy intimate relationship. It's the compass of trust, respect, and communication, ensuring that every step taken is a choice, not an obligation. In this dance of love and connection, consent is the rhythm that keeps things in harmony. It empowers individuals to have a voice in their relationships, fostering an atmosphere of safety and understanding where boundaries are respected and desires are celebrated. In short, consent isn't just a checkbox; it's the heartbeat of a vibrant, respectful, and thriving partnership. If we are to put it out practically, consent truly isn't a choice; it's a mandate. A mandate for healthy sexual relationships!
Consent implies that the individual has the maturity to understand the implications of engaging in sex and its consequences. Consent also implies that the individual has the space to exercise free will. Technically, assault presumes the absence of consent and the force of force/compulsion.
What does consent look like?
In order to understand consent, one has to get their 'yes' and 'no's' straight! Consent is the direct replica of a 'Yes'. Remember, a 'no' does not mean 'later', 'not now', 'partial yes' or 'maybe'. Before indulging in any kind of sexual activity, make sure you are well aware of these terminologies. A no is a no; further, no manipulation or convincing should take place. A healthy sexual relationship is an outcome of a consensual nature. Here are some phrases about what consent looks like:
It would be pertinent to note that in India legal age of consent is at 18 years. The law looks at adolescent girls, largely, as victims if underage. Thus, it focuses on the penalization of the person involved. Therefore be aware that although sexual activity could be consensual, it is not legal and can be labelled as statutory rape! Hence, the law considers all sexual acts with children (under 18 years) as statutory rape, regardless of purported consent.
Criminal law and Civil law position on age of consent:
Minimum age of consent is defined in the Indian Penal Code only for girls. It was initially set at 10 years, and, subsequently, raised to 12 years, 14 years and 16 years (1940). In 2023, it was raised to 18 years.
The POCSO Act (Protection of Children from Sexual Offences Act) is a special act that deals with sexual assault committed on children. For girls, the age is defined as 18 years. Any sexual act involving a girl below this age is considered as assault.
Thus, girls below the age of 18 years can not engage in any sexual activity, with or without consent.
Conclusion: Consent in a relationship is definitely a green flag!
Comprehending and wholeheartedly embracing the concept of consent goes beyond a passing trend; it stands as a vital element in the construction of respectful and healthy sexual relationships. As teenagers, you hold the influence to redefine contemporary notions of what it means to be "cool." True coolness entails honouring personal boundaries, fostering open communication, and consistently seeking enthusiastic and explicit consent from your partner. Therefore, always bear in mind that consent isn't just the latest trend in town; it forms the very cornerstone upon which healthy relationships are established.
Right from letters to text messages and from landlines to mobile conversations, the dynamics of dating have evolved drastically. Technology and Western culture have their own part to play in this evolution. Although the mediums or platforms have switched and we've got all modern, what still remains intact is those butterflies that one feels during the dating phase.
As we've progressed into modern times, we were introduced to the 'new black' of dating life: CONSENT. With the passing of time, suddenly, 'Consent became the new cool', and today, it seems to be the most debatable topic among teens. But do we as teens really understand what it means? Or are we just trying to ‘fit in’ by making consent sound cool?
This article delves into the intricacies of this newfound emphasis on consent, exploring whether it's a genuine factor of a healthy sexual relationship or merely an attempt to conform to the latest social trend!
What Is Sexual Consent?
Let us get to the roots first. Sexual consent is the glowing green light of intimacy, a heartfelt agreement that turns a shared moment into a beautiful journey of connection. It's the unwavering assurance that every touch and every step is welcomed with enthusiasm and respect. Skipping the flowery lingo, let's explain it in layman's terminology, too. It's a mutual, clear-cut agreement between adults to engage in any sexual activity, not just ‘sex’ but also physical and emotional intimacy. It means both parties are on the same page, willingly and enthusiastically participating, with a full understanding.
Why is consent important in healthy relationships?
Healthy relationship and consent; the former one exists only in the presence of the latter!
Consider consent to be the guiding source to a healthy intimate relationship. It's the compass of trust, respect, and communication, ensuring that every step taken is a choice, not an obligation. In this dance of love and connection, consent is the rhythm that keeps things in harmony. It empowers individuals to have a voice in their relationships, fostering an atmosphere of safety and understanding where boundaries are respected and desires are celebrated. In short, consent isn't just a checkbox; it's the heartbeat of a vibrant, respectful, and thriving partnership. If we are to put it out practically, consent truly isn't a choice; it's a mandate. A mandate for healthy sexual relationships!
Consent implies that the individual has the maturity to understand the implications of engaging in sex and its consequences. Consent also implies that the individual has the space to exercise free will. Technically, assault presumes the absence of consent and the force of force/compulsion.
What does consent look like?
In order to understand consent, one has to get their 'yes' and 'no's' straight! Consent is the direct replica of a 'Yes'. Remember, a 'no' does not mean 'later', 'not now', 'partial yes' or 'maybe'. Before indulging in any kind of sexual activity, make sure you are well aware of these terminologies. A no is a no; further, no manipulation or convincing should take place. A healthy sexual relationship is an outcome of a consensual nature. Here are some phrases about what consent looks like:
- Hey, I was wondering if we could try this. Are you okay?
- Are you comfortable?
- There's no rush. You can tell me about your concerns.
- If you think you need time, let me know.
- Do you want me to?
- If you don't wish to, we can just stop.
- You and your lover are ecstatic, content, and eager to have sex.
- Nobody is coerced into engaging in any type of sexual activity.
- Safe sexual practices, such as the use of condoms and other forms of contraception, must be agreed upon by all parties.
- Healthy Relationships and Consent are co-existing; therefore, anything that poses a discomfort should immediately be addressed or talked about.
- Consent is continuous: Consent should be obtained at every juncture of sexual activity. Granting consent for one activity does not imply consent for other or future activities or continuous sexual engagement. It is crucial to regularly communicate with your partner and ensure they remain comfortable and enthusiastic about the ongoing situation. Remember, in order to sustain a healthy sexual relationship, both of you should be receptive to the 'yes' and the 'no's'.
- Consent is reversible:You and your partner both have equal rights to back out from any ongoing physical activity. Although initially approved, consent is reversible. At any given point in time, if any of you feels a pinch of discomfort or have the slightest doubt, take a step back! Your partner's comfort should be your ultimate priority, even if it means withdrawing from an ongoing sexual activity.
It would be pertinent to note that in India legal age of consent is at 18 years. The law looks at adolescent girls, largely, as victims if underage. Thus, it focuses on the penalization of the person involved. Therefore be aware that although sexual activity could be consensual, it is not legal and can be labelled as statutory rape! Hence, the law considers all sexual acts with children (under 18 years) as statutory rape, regardless of purported consent.
Criminal law and Civil law position on age of consent:
Minimum age of consent is defined in the Indian Penal Code only for girls. It was initially set at 10 years, and, subsequently, raised to 12 years, 14 years and 16 years (1940). In 2023, it was raised to 18 years.
The POCSO Act (Protection of Children from Sexual Offences Act) is a special act that deals with sexual assault committed on children. For girls, the age is defined as 18 years. Any sexual act involving a girl below this age is considered as assault.
Thus, girls below the age of 18 years can not engage in any sexual activity, with or without consent.
Conclusion: Consent in a relationship is definitely a green flag!
Comprehending and wholeheartedly embracing the concept of consent goes beyond a passing trend; it stands as a vital element in the construction of respectful and healthy sexual relationships. As teenagers, you hold the influence to redefine contemporary notions of what it means to be "cool." True coolness entails honouring personal boundaries, fostering open communication, and consistently seeking enthusiastic and explicit consent from your partner. Therefore, always bear in mind that consent isn't just the latest trend in town; it forms the very cornerstone upon which healthy relationships are established.
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